There are zero guaruntees in life

Here on the edge of the college football season getting started, there was a frightening moment last night. Alabama starting defensive end Brandon Deaderick was shot in an apparent attempted robbery. Fortunately, reports indicate the only wound was to his forearm and it's not a life threatening injury. Three years ago someone shot and killed Miami DL Bryan Pata - fortunately Deaderick will not be the new version of that story. Nick Saban now has to get ready for Alabama's game with Virginia Tech while his best pass rusher is missing. The only good news for the Tide is that Tyrod Taylor's such a poor passer he's not likely to exploit the absence.

I have a t-shirt and hat that feature the old Tampa Bay "Bucco Bruce" logo. Lately, it feels like the pastel pirate is more appropriate to wear as a Bucs fan than the current one they won a Super Bowl with. Cutting a second round draft choice one year later would have been a little extreme even for the awful mid 80s Buccaneer squads. Apparently Dexter Jackson wasn't even good enough to be cut from the roster as part of the major reduction to 53. Danny Peebles, congratulations. You're off the hook as the worst Tampa Bay second round wide receiver ever.

September 11th, Erin Andrews will speak about being videotaped without permission while she was naked in her hotel room. Her venue to discuss what the situation felt like? An appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. I see nothing wrong with this plan. Andrews is going to have to discuss the video at some point, so what makes Oprah a bad idea as the place to do so? AOL columnist David Whitley, a former Orlando Sentinel writer, seems to think she should be on CSI instead so the taping could be solved within the hour. A friend of mine was was assaulted and raped by a stranger in Gainesville a few years back. She barely heard from police for a year, at which point they let her know an arrest was pending thanks to a test result coming back from the lab. That's how police work in the real world goes. Why would or should anyone anticipate that the Andrews case is such an important investigation that it's being worked around the clock by authorities?

There's a new contender for the sports memorabilia item you're least likely to want to own. Remember Onterrio Smith? The former Minnesota RB was in posession of a Whizzinator when trying to get on a plane. It was the first most people had heard of the device that was supposed to simulate a penis as a way to dispense clean urine and beat a drug test. Now, four years later, Smith's Whizzinator is out of the evidence locker and has been sold at auction for 750 bucks. The new owner plans to display it as his sports bar in Mankato, home of Vikings training camp. Who wouldn't be delighted to sit next to that?